


Charades

by spiffyname



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-11-23 06:22:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20887544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiffyname/pseuds/spiffyname
Summary: Another stargate, another seemingly abandoned planet with abandoned ruins, another day.





	Charades

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Sparktober! It figures the first thing I ever post here is something Sparky-related. Forever grateful to Kelly for the encouragement and editing.

Another stargate, another seemingly abandoned planet with abandoned ruins, another day. Colonel Sheppard and his team found some writing etched in stones, which he took more than his fair share of pictures of – but there was something off about the ruins, which were comprised of some crazy mazes.

While Teyla and Ronon continued to mark a path through the ruins, John and Rodney reported what they had found and sent some of the pictures back to Atlantis, John should have expected what happened next. But he didn’t, and before he knew it, Doctor Weir with a couple of other linguists and Major Lorne showed up before he could debate with her about it.

“I think you and I are going to need to have a talk about Safety Precautions and Security Protocols when we get back home,” John told Elizabeth as they made their way to the ruins.

The look she gave him wasn’t flattering. “You said that the planet was safe, John. I even brought Major Lorne with me. And other linguists, so that I, personally, would spend less time here.”

He returned the look right back. “I said it seems safe. We haven’t fully explored the ruins --“

“Which I’m here to help with!”

“-- so we don’t actually know if it is safe or full of booby traps. I’m just saying, you could have waited a bit for me to give it the all clear,” John finished.

Elizabeth huffed out a breath. “If I waited for your ‘all clear’ I would have been waiting days. I promise, we’ll stay next to the writings you said were safe, okay? If we think about venturing further, Lorne will check it out first. And your team can continue looking around, see if there’s anything else here.”

John grumbled, but knew he wasn’t going to get a better deal than that.

\--

Evan Lorne didn’t mind babysitting scientists. Normally, he had a full tac team with him (unless the Colonel was feeling vindictive for whatever reason), but sometimes it was nice just to watch them be in their element. And he usually enjoyed being on Dr. Weir’s security detail (except for that one time when she kicked his ass - though to be fair she had been taken over by an alien consciousness). He was with her in the control room when Sheppard had dialled in for the update - Evan was never too far away from her while the Colonel was off-world. Not because it was his job, but because the Colonel always left Very Specific Instructions when he wasn’t in Atlantis, and most of them revolved around their Expedition Leader. For example – Always be in the gateroom when teams dialled in; When doing the rounds, make sure to go by her office and if it’s been a couple hours and she’s still in the same position she was last time, get her to stretch her legs (take a walk, take her to the mess for a snack/coffee, etc); and no matter WHAT she says, she is not allowed to go to see High Priest Vikrash on P2X-691. Not even with a full security team. If the Colonel wasn’t there, she wasn’t going, end of story.

Anyway, Lorne was by her side when she got the update -- and when she became very excited about the writing they found -- before he knew it he had got caught up in her whirlwind and was on his way to watch linguists decipher some scratches in rocks.

Doctor Pippa Pearson and Doctor Gregor Marek had joined them on their little adventure, at Weir’s insistence. They were fairly new to the city and didn’t have too much experience going off-world. He thought it was rather clever of Dr. Weir to take along a couple of newbies to a relatively safe planet – her flagship team was already there, after all, and Lorne, well. He could hold his own for a bit.

And if there was trouble, he knew that the Colonel would stop at nothing to make sure everyone was all right.

\--

“Dr. Weir? I think I have something!” Pippa called out from somewhere nearby. Lorne had been patrolling the perimeter and made sure he counted three heads every time he had them in view. Col. Sheppard had insisted on updates every 30 minutes, but thankfully the good Doctor had kiboshed that idea pretty quickly. No one wanted to be interrupted every thirty minutes about something that probably wasn’t going to change for at least a couple of hours.

Still, Lorne meandered over to where the three doctors were now convened, huddled around a pillar with writing on it. It didn’t look much different than the other pillars around, but the three doctors all made somewhat excited noises.

“Is it a warning?” Gregor queried, brushing off some of the flora that had grown over it.

“It certainly looks like a warning. Look, it says – Oh. Oh Dear. Major?” Elizabeth called for him, and he was by her side in moments. “Could you please radio the Colonel and tell him not to touch anything that might look shiny? Tell him, Lorne, don’t ask. That’s an order.”

She barely managed to get her words out, before a flash of light blinded all of them.

\--

Lorne didn’t think he passed out, but he couldn’t say for certain what the light did to them, or for how long. When he was sure that the doctors were all right, he checked his radio – which was nothing but static and weird clicks.

Well, so much for updating the Colonel.

“Do any of your notes say what that light could have been?” he asked instead, checking that his weapon was still in place, and the extra clips were where he left them – in his vest.

“It could have been an alarm of some sort?” Pippa suggested, but Gregor shook his head.

“No, I think it was… something else. The warning did say something about – being encompassed by enemies.”

Lorne didn’t think that was overly reassuring.

“No, I don’t think that’s it. It was more… surrounded by… unknowns?” Elizabeth corrected, and Lorne had to duck his head in case someone called him out on his face being full of pride. Sometimes he forgot that she had all these other talents, other than running a city.

“Ma’am? I can’t call the Colonel on the radio. He’s gonna… get antsy, if he doesn’t know what’s going on,” Lorne told her. Her lips quirked at his word choice, because they both knew ‘antsy’ wouldn’t begin to cover it. He had discovered that the Colonel didn’t mind it when Dr. Weir went off-world – as long as he had the chance to make all the ‘necessary preparations’. When she ambushed him like this, it tended to put him in an over-protective mood. (Which Lorne sometimes got the short end of the stick from, but it was a small price to pay when it gave him so many opportunities to make the Colonel uncomfortable.)

“Hmmm. I think you have a point, Major. Okay. Go find Sheppard’s team, see if they experienced the same thing, and report back. We’ll stay here and continue with deciphering the etchings,” she told him, and he wasn’t sure if was the trick of the light, or if he had seen a glint of mischievousness in her eye.

It was probably the latter, not that she’d ever admit to it. Elizabeth Weir could be a ruthless, but funny woman.

He tried again. “With all due respect, Doctor, I think it would be best if we all left together, found the Colonel… and his team, and let everyone know that we’re okay. Then, if it’s all right, we can come back and you guys can… you know,” he waved his hands at them, “Do your thing.”

For a moment, it looked like she was going to argue with him about it, but something changed her mind – whether it was the look on his face, or that she remembered how crazy her Military Commander could be – whatever it was, Lorne was grateful, because she nodded.

“We could use a walk, anyway,” she said, in a tone that brooked no arguments from anyone.

Lorne quickly turned away to lead them towards where he knew Col. Sheppard’s team was last, before she could see the grin on his face.

\--

It took them a bit longer than any of them cared to admit to get to where they wanted to be.

Elizabeth had to admit, John was right. The place was full of crazy mazes. They had double backed and crossed their own tracks a couple times now, but could also hear murmurings nearby. Thinking it could only be John and his team, they made their way closer to the voices only to discover… not their team, but four aliens of some kind.

Major Lorne and a few of the aliens had their weapons up, ready to fire at each other, but Elizabeth’s sharp gaze cut through Lorne quickly.

“Major, maybe we should try speaking with them first,” she told him calmly, but firmly. The Major looked to her, to the aliens, back to her, and conceded, tipping his weapon down.

One of the aliens looked at her curiously. “We’re explorers. We mean you no harm,” she told them, her voice warm, comforting, and very non-threatening.

The alien said something back, but it sounded a bit like gibberish. Feeling daring, Lorne tried his radio again, with the same results.

Another alien started speaking, and soon it was like they were forgotten for a moment. But as soon as Lorne started speaking – “Maybe we should get--” the aliens’s eyes were back on them and he stopped. The aliens were a little intimidating – tall-ish, somewhat scale-y, claws, black eyes, almost alligator like snout.

“We don’t mean to intrude, we were just studying the ruins, back there,” Elizabeth tried, pointing in the direction of the pillars.

That seemed to upset the alien in front, as it started talking again, but this time it sounded a little more hostile.

Elizabeth took a calming breath and tucked a curl behind her ear, and the Alien stopped mid-sentence. It said something to the others, and the one he had been conversing with went off again. This time it was Elizabeth that tilted her head curiously.

“John? Rodney?”

“Ma’am?” Lorne asked, afraid that the beam of light might have done something to her head.

She looked at him. “Sorry, they just… they argue like John and Rodney,” she told him, crossing her arms. Again, that made the Lead Alien pause for a moment. The other aliens made some comments, but the Lead Alien had hardly taken its eyes off of Dr. Weir, and Lorne did not like that at all.

“Ma’am, I’d feel better if you took a few steps back,” Lorne told her, as calmly as he could.

“No,” she replied, a little distantly, and instead of getting behind him, she took another step closer. Which the Lead Alien copied.

“Dr. Weir, do you honestly think that Col. Sheppard and his team… transformed into these… things?” Pearson asked, a little disbelievingly, not that Lorne could blame her.

Elizabeth nodded, not taking her eyes off of ‘John’, “We don’t know what the light did. We don’t know if we set it off, or if it was the others. We don’t know how far the light went. But we’re here, and they’re in the correct spot, more or less, to be the Colonel’s team,” she told them. Then, almost as an afterthought, “It feels like them.”

\--

“You’re kidding right? You want to play charades now?” McKay asked incredulously.

Sheppard rolled his eyes at his friend. “We obviously can’t understand each other at the moment, McKay. Charades is a good way to get a point across, I think.”

“Because you think that’s Elizabeth,” Rodney stated, clearly still not believing him.

“No, because I know that’s Elizabeth.”

“And how can you be so sure?”

“Because Rodney, I just am!”

“Well, whoopie for you, I’m so happy that light gave you magical powers! What’s next, I wonder?”

“Rodney, perhaps the Colonel has a point,” Teyla interrupted. They all looked at her. “I am uncertain as to whether or not that is Dr Weir, but we should at least try to communicate with these creatures. They do not seem to mean us any harm.”

“Okay, McKay, just… act like a sheep, okay?” John told his friend, pointing to himself, then… almost chasing Rodney around. “C’mon, be a sheep, otherwise this is just dumb!” John told him.

Rodney heaved out a sigh, and baa’d.

\--

The Lead Alien (“John” – even though secretly in his head, Lorne was calling him Jock-o-dile) was chasing the other Alien (Rod-o-dile) around, sort of caging him in, when Rod-o-dile made a noise, sort of like a sheep.

“Did… he just say ‘baa’?” Gregor asked, with confusion.

“Oh – See! It’s Sheppard! I told you it was them!” Elizabeth cried out in victory, her eyes narrowing quickly at Lorne, a punishment for not believing her in the first place.

He wasn’t convinced, but his leader was, and there was not much he could do about it.

She reached out her hand tentatively, slow and steady, her eyes never leaving the Jock-o-dile, and touched his arm lightly. His hand, for lack of a better term, covered hers and squeezed gently.

\--

They stared at each other for a moment, coming to an understanding with each other, more or less, confirming to themselves at least, that this was who they thought it was. John turned back to his team. “Ok, this is pretty messed up. We should get back to ‘Lantis and get this figured out.”

He tilted his head towards the gate, and started to lead her by the hand, when she dug her heels in.

When she tilted her head curiously at him, he made a circular motion with his hand, then, sort of punched through the outline he made. He could tell she was frowning at him, though it didn’t seem like her face moved very much. He tried tugging on her hand again, but she shook her head.

“Lizabeth, we,” he pointed at the group with his finger, “need to go,” made his fingers walk, “back to the gate,” the circle and punch. She shook her head. “What do you mean ‘no’?”

\--

“What’s he trying to say?” Lorne asked, confused.

“I think he wants to go back to the Stargate,” Elizabeth answered. “I think.”

“So, why are you saying no?” Pippa asked, still a tad skeptical.

Elizabeth turned to face them. “We need to figure out what happened here,” she told them. She turned back to John. “We,” she pointed at everyone with her finger, “need to figure out,” pointed to her brain, “why this is happening,” she pointed to her eyes, then made the ‘watching you’ motion, pointed to him, and waved her hand. He still looked confused, if his confused puppy head tilt was anything to go by. She sighed. Normally communicating with him wasn’t this hard, even without words. She pointed to her eyes, used her finger to circle her face, then shrugged, then made the watching you motion again.

\--

“I don’t understand,” Ronon said, plainly.

John tilted his head. “Yeah, I’m with ya there, buddy.” Elizabeth, sensing his confusion, tried again. “Seeing? Why are we seeing… each other like this? I don’t know, that’s why we should go home and figure it out!”

“Perhaps Elizabeth does not want to leave until we are sure this is not permanent?” Teyla offered. It did sound like an Elizabeth-thing to do, but it was weirding John out. 

“Or we could gate home and let Carson figure this all out,” John mumbled. He made his motion for the Stargate again, and pointed to his brain, then moved his fingers to her wrist, where her pulse was. She looked at his hand and shook her head in confusion. So, very carefully, and very slowly, brought his other hand to her neck. Behind her, Lorne-a-Saur brought up his weapon incrementally. She murmured something, eyes never leaving his. John found the pulse-point on her neck, and tapped his fingers along with his heartbeat. She still didn’t understand, so he tried with her wrist as well. Then he took his hand off her neck, brought the hand holding her wrist to his chest, and again, used his fingers to tap out a heartbeat. “C’mon, Lizabeth. Carson. Do you think it would help if I tried to act out a bagpipe?” he asked over his shoulder.

“No,” Rodney said emphatically.

\--

When Lorne noticed Jock-o-Dile going for her throat – albeit very slowly – Elizabeth could see he got anxious.

“Relax, Major. He’s not going to hurt me,” she told him, in a soothing tone. She couldn’t help but think of the time when he did hurt her – but he had been turning into a bug, so it’s not like she ever held it against him.

“Ma’am, I appreciate that you think so, but the Colonel would have my ass if he knew I let some… alien version of him choke you, even if you do trust him.”

“He wants you to, what? Check his heartbeat?” Gregor asked, when Jock-o-Dile brought her hand to his chest.

“What, Carson?” Elizabeth translated. She made a C-shape with her hands, and John nodded. “You want Carson to fix this? How? We don’t even know how or why this happened!”

“To be fair, Ma’am, I think we know how this happened,” Lorne stated dryly, and Elizabeth’s gaze slid over to his, giving him an amused smirk.

“Alright fine. But we don’t know why. Maybe it will wear off! Maybe it just needs time to… run its course…”

“’Surrounded by unknowns’ – isn’t that what you said earlier? Perhaps this is the ‘unknown’ part?” Pippa offered. Elizabeth turned around quickly, to stare at her, hope lighting up her eyes.

\--

“Why do I have a feeling, I’m not going to like this?” John muttered as Elizabeth finally turned to face him again. One of the other linguists must have said something to cause a breakthrough or something.

Elizabeth pointed to her team, made her fingers walk, made a book, pretended to write…

Yup, John did not like this. He shook his head. “I’d rather we go home and figure this out, not have you keep looking at stuff that probably got us in trouble in the first place.” Even with the wrong face, he could tell she was arching an eyebrow at him. He held up his hands defensively. “Hey! I’m just saying, we don’t know who did this, or why it happened! Do you really want to go messing with ruins again?” he asked her, tone getting more heated. Then he said, more to himself, “Of course you do, what am I thinking.” He sighed. He tried again, this time putting a hand to the small of her back, as if to escort her. “Let’s go back to the Gate. We don’t know if this is just… a mirage here, or not. Who knows! As soon as we step through the gate, we could go back to normal,” he told her. She twirled out of his hold and glared at him.

If he hadn’t been positive that this was Elizabeth before, this would be his proof. He knew that glare anywhere.

“Elizabeth, I hope you know that you are being VERY DIFFICULT and that I don’t appreciate this. At all,” he told her, glaring. She returned the glare with her arms crossed. He knew that stance. He muttered a dark curse and had to turn away for a moment to collect himself. “Pretty sure this falls under my jurisdiction,” he told her coldly when he turned around to face her again.

Apparently, she didn’t need to understand his words, to understand his tone. He could tell she was gearing up for a fight.

\--

Oh, she knew that tone – the one he got when he got all Military Commander on her.

“I don’t think I need to REMIND you, Colonel, that I’m still in charge. This is not a military scenario yet. I mean, have you seen any enemy combatants around? Is anyone out there actually trying to actively kill us? No! And until that time comes, IF that time comes, it’s still MY decision to make! In fact, this seems to be more of a scientific problem, so why don’t I just put Rodney in charge?!” she told him, trying not to let her temper flare, but knowing it was no good. She tried balling up her fists to avoid gesturing angrily, for all the good that did her. By the end of her argument, she was pointing at who she felt was Rodney, and John’s eyes narrowed.

“We. Are. NOT. Going. Back. To. Atlantis. Do I make myself clear, Colonel?” 

\--

The flow of the words coming out of Liz-ard’s mouth was familiar. It was her ‘this is not a military situation, so stand down’ speech. With heavy handed notes of ‘it’s my decision what and when constitutes a situation that needs your expertise’, and possibly ‘I’ll just put RODNEY in charge if you’re going to be an ass about it’.

“Why is she pointing at me like that? I didn’t do it!” Rodney exclaimed, defending himself.

John waved him off. “It wasn’t an accusatory point, Rodney.”

“Perhaps she would like Rodney’s assistance back at the ruins?” Teyla offered.

“That was a pretty aggressive, even for Weir,” Ronon commented.

“Tell her I didn’t do it! Elizabeth, I swear, I didn’t have anything to do with what happened!” Rodney pleaded with her, and John rolled his eyes.

“She doesn’t think that! She just doesn’t want to go back home!”

“Oh, well… she might have a point, though,” Rodney said. “I mean, it makes more sense for us to stay here and try to reverse what happened, than go home, scare everyone, possibly get SHOT in the process, only to have to run back here and figure it out. Kind of a time saver, if you think about it.”

“Oh, I’m sorry if I want to get our Expedition Leader out of harm's way! But no, everyone else is right, I’m just being… being…”

“Overly cautious?”

“Thick headed and obnoxious?”

“A pain in her ass?”  
John shook his head. Then took a calming breath. “Okay. Fine. You win. Lead the way, Doctor,” he grit out, clearly not pleased.

\--

With the way that John was pointing in the direction of the ruins, and how tensely coiled his (new) body was, she knew that his team had sided with her. Which they should, because she was right about this.

“Wait, did you touch anything before?” she asked suddenly. Sheppard’s team looked at her blankly. She pointed at his team, made her fingers walk, gestured looking/searching, pretended like she found something and picked it up.

“That was… pretty well done, Ma’am,” Lorne told her. She gave him a grateful look.

The others looked at Rodney, who squawked indignantly. Then started talking a mile a minute.

“Rodney? Put it back,” Elizabeth told him.

\--

“What? What is she saying?” Rodney asked nervously. “Why is she looking at me like that? You just said that she wasn’t being accusatory, but I gotta tell you, this right here? This seems accusatory! I thought we agreed that I didn’t do anything!”

“Oh, I think you have a pretty good idea of what she’s saying, McKay,” John told him grouchily.

“Well, how was I supposed to know that –“

“McKay! Just put the damn thing back, and maybe we’ll all turn back to normal!”

“Well, I don’t even remember where I got it from! And Now you want me to put it back? What if I-“

Teyla put her hand on Rodney’s shoulder. “I remember the way. Would you like us to all go together?”

John was already asking Elizabeth through their charade game. He pointed at Rodney, pointed at the whole group, made the walking motion, made the ‘watching you’ action, pointed at Rodney again, and made a motion of putting something down.

\--

“Have you ever played charades as a pastime, Ma’am?” Lorne asked, as he watched his Commanding Officer move his hands around.

Elizabeth didn’t even spare him a glance, she was so focused on Sheppard. “Maybe when I was a child,” she replied distractedly.

“Does… he want us to watch something?” Pippa asked, not fully understanding what the Colonel was trying to say. She was actually more impressed that the two Leaders could communicate like this almost as easily as they did with words.

“I think he’s asking if we should go as a group to make sure Rodney puts whatever he took back,” Elizabeth explained to Pippa.

“Would that matter?” Gregor asked. “I mean, we were in different groups when Dr. McKay took the artifact. Perhaps we need to be where we were when the light happened?”

Elizabeth was more inclined to agree with Dr. Marek, but she shared a look with Lorne. They both knew that Sheppard wasn’t going to be too keen on the idea. The Major shrugged, his face saying ‘Your call’ – but really he meant – ‘you tell him’.

\--

John watched as Elizabeth and Lorne glanced at each other, and then at him. He knew he wasn’t going to like what they came up with, and preemptively shook his head.

Liz-ard rolled her eyes before she started trying to communicate. She pointed at his team, pointed at Rodney, made the watching motion, acted out putting something back. Then she pointed at her team, finger-walked, pointed back to the ruins.

“Yeah, I don’t think so,” he started to say, but Teyla’s hand on his arm cut him off.

“Perhaps it is best if we listen to Dr. Weir,” her words sounded like a suggestion, but her tone was more of an order.

He raked his free hand through his hair in frustration. “But--“

“The linguists seem to think that it will work if we are in our original positions, correct?” she asked, but didn’t wait for his agreement, “So the faster we comply, the faster we return to normal.”

“Fine! Fine, it’s not like I was ever in charge in the first place. But if this bites us in the ass later, I’m totally saying I told you so.”

Teyla’s smile was the picture of serene – but it felt condescending to John. “Of course. If that will make you feel better,” she told him, but her eyes slid to Elizabeth.

\--

Elizabeth caught Teyla’s look, and she had to bite back a smile. “Thank goodness for Teyla,” she muttered. When she had gotten her face under control, she touched John’s arm softly. “See you soon,” she told him. His hand came to rest on hers for a beat, before turning his eyes on Lorne. He didn’t say anything, but Lorne read the message loud and clear.

“Okay,” Lorne said, before turning back to the other linguists, “Let’s get this show on the road, shall we?” He turned to Elizabeth. “Ma’am? Pretty sure I’m not to let you out of my sight.”

With one last look at her flagship team, Elizabeth turned around. “Of course, Major,” she said, and started walking. She was tempted to say ‘what else could go wrong’ but didn’t want to tempt fate. It had been quite the day already.

The walk back to the ruins was quicker than their earlier trip. The group found the pillar they had been translating before and got back to it. Less than ten minutes later, a bright light flashed over them again.  
\--  
“Ugh, okay, that’s getting old,” Lorne said, blinking the spots out of his eyes.

The radio crackled. “Please tell me that worked,” John’s voice came through, and they all seemed to breathe a sigh of relief.

Lorne looked at Elizabeth for a moment, a smirk on his face. “We could mess with him a little,” he offered.

Elizabeth seemed to consider it, but only for a moment. “Maybe next time. Who knows what sort of punishment he’d make you suffer through.”

Lorne’s face turned into a pout. “You wouldn’t protect me, Ma’am?”

Elizabeth smirked and opened her mouth to reply, but the radio chirped again.

“Hello? Somebody answer me.”

“We hear you John,” Elizabeth told him.

“Took you long enough,” he grumbled. “You ready to go home?”

Elizabeth looked to the pillars that they hadn’t even gotten to yet with a sigh. John seemed anxious to get her back to Atlantis after what happened, but the linguist in her wanted desperately to stay.

“Go? Already? But we’ve hardly even started!” Gregor exclaimed. Pippa also looked put out that they would have to leave so soon.

Elizabeth sighed. “John? I’m going to take some photos to take back with me, but Lorne and the others will stay here for a bit,” she told him, knowing it was the best solution for everyone involved.

Lorne patted her arm gently. “Thanks for taking one for the team,” he told her honestly.

She nodded, then looked to the others. “Do as much as you can, report back in a couple hours. And take pictures of everything please,” she requested. The looked to Lorne, “I have a feeling I won’t be coming back for a while.”

“Just until we get all the kinks out,” he told her, and started rooting around in his pack for a camera to help her out. The sooner she got done, the sooner the Colonel would leave, the more breathing room they would get.

It took them a few minutes, but they started taking pictures of everything around them. Soon enough, John and Teyla joined them, taking pictures as well to expedite the process.

“See, this is why you should wait until I give the all clear before you come gallivanting around on strange planets,” John said casually as he worked. His back was turned so he didn’t see the glare that Elizabeth leveled him with, but she could tell by the tense line of his shoulders that he felt it.

“Or, maybe you should wait until we’ve translated the necessary warnings before you and Rodney start touching things,” she shot back.

“Hey, that was all McKay! Don’t smear my name along with his!” he defended himself, turning around to have this out face to face.

“Oh please! Like you haven’t gotten your team into trouble by touching something you shouldn’t have!”

“Or someone he shouldn’t have,” Lorne grumbled quietly. The Major had been on a few rescue missions when the Flagship Team had run into trouble. Or rather, when they had bulldozed right into it. Elizabeth flashed him a look that was a mix of quiet warning and grateful understanding.

“You have something to add, Major?” The Colonel asked him sharply.

“No, sir,” Lorne quickly replied, taking a large step away from the two of them, and adjusted the camera settings as he and Teyla shared a look.

“Don’t try and change the subject, John,” Elizabeth scolded him, and the Major thanked every single deity that existed for Dr Elizabeth Weir. His Saviour.

“Look, my original point is, was, and let’s face it – probably will always be, Elizabeth,” John enunciated her name for effect, “is that my team did not have enough time to properly secure and investigate the area. Had you given me the time, this might have – “

“Blown up in your face? Rodney has impulse control issues, as you do, Colonel,” she said, using his rank in retaliation. “Either one of you would have touched something, or picked something up, the flashing light would have STILL happened, and you would have been SOL getting back home – “

“Oh, please, we would have made it home just fine! We don’t even know if the light thing only works here or not! We could have still dialled the gate home and punched in our IDC and walked through –“

“Possibly looking like those creatures? In the gateroom, full of Marines?”

Pippa sneezed abruptly, reminding them where they were and who they were with. John looked away in order to get his emotions under control, while Elizabeth took a deep breath to centre herself.

“Ma’am? If you’d like, we can do a little experiment on our way home?” Lorne offered.

Elizabeth’s smile was a little strained, as it didn’t exactly reach her eyes, and she shook her head. “No, thank you Major. Perhaps not this trip. But I would appreciate an update when you return.”

Lorne dimpled at her. “Of course, Ma’am.”

“And Major – “

“No souvenirs. I got it. I mean, understood, Ma’am.”

With that, Elizabeth nodded and turned towards her Military Commander, who was looking at her thoughtfully as they made their way towards the stargate.

“You know,” John started, almost too casually, “if you need a break from your office, and the balcony isn’t cutting it, I can think of a couple different planets you might enjoy.”

The look she gave him was intrigued but wary. “Oh?”

His grin was hesitant. “There’s the added bonus of not having to deal with alien booby traps?”

Elizabeth ducked her head, smiling. “That might be nice.”

“There’s one that’s so secluded, I’m pretty sure it could be clothing optional, if you really needed to relax,” he offered with a flirty grin.

She rolled her eyes at him, but her smile stayed in place. “I’ll be sure to keep that in mind,” she told him.

“Good. So will I,” he replied, hand on her back as he escorted her back home.

*fin


End file.
